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[gillesvdp]

[Edited]

[matthew254]

Here's the thing:

It CAN be worse than sticking a needle in your eye - but - it can also be a nice, comfortable occasion with food, laughs, and a million smiles.

I think it's fair to say that in the dramas, the "meet-the-parents" ritual is a bit stylized and over-the-top than in real life. But then again, some families...

Listen to your girlfriend. If she says you have nothing to worry about then you're fine. If she's sweating bullets, then consider yourself doomed.

Without getting into specifics, I would imagine that your interest in the language is a strong point in your favor. In my experience, a lot of effort goes a long way with Korean parents. If you genuinely care about the culture, language, and traditions then you will likely be fine (save for some early bumps in the road).

Best of luck - and nice to meet you I also studied at 이대 but I was there this past summer.

[gillesvdp]

[Edited]

[Chris1]

Matt is right-- It's really going to just depend on the parents. The best you can do is be courteous and respectful. It will really depend on their view of the subject. I'd say it's positive that she's having you meet them regardless.

[erich]

Ok, here's my experience:

My gf's family was NOT AT ALL happy about the fact she was hanging out with a "long-nose" at first, and even though I had some basics of the language by then, I couldn't really communicate with them.

So my gf asked me to make the greeting and this helped a little.

One hint I can give you: train the greeting so that you won't feel awkward when actually doing it

And keep in mind that your future parents in law don't realize this is something special to you.

As the others told, you really should listen to your girlfriend as what fits to her parents.

[Chris1]

And keep in mind that your future parents in law don't realize this is something special to you.

Excellent point. I would definitely try to use any means to show that you at least aware about the Korean culture/language, and, most importantly, that you care very deeply for your girlfriend. Showing a little knowledge and a great deal of respect for the way her parents view things is essential to gaining their acceptance. Some Korean parents are either open-minded or not; there's not that much in between with my experiences. From your post here, it seems you might be dealing with a group that already has a bad opinion of you before you even step in the door.

Be sure to come back and tell us how it went!

[gillesvdp]

[Edited]

[isaacristich]

I'm going to meet my 여자친구 의 어마 in March. I haven't yet had the conversation with her as to whether or not I should do the formal bow (with head touching the ground) when meeting 어마, but at the very least will give her a very nice 안녕하십니까?

I think it really does depend on your gf wishes and the formality of the household. At least show as much respect as she is comfortable with you showing.

I wish you good luck and do share with us what your experience is like.

[xflibble]

Just to concur with everyone else - It will depend a great deal on the parents. My (now) father-in-law speaks English, has travelled a great deal and is pretty open-minded, so no bowing was required for me

[luckynomad]

My girlfriend and I want to get married this July. Unfortunately her mother already told her NO WAY NO HOW. Luckily my girlfriend is really stubborn too, so we've already talked several times about simply eloping and running away to Japan. She's 30 years old by the way and doesn't live with her parents. yeah, its a different culture. My language skills and the fact that I known her parents and her family quite well doesn't seem to matter at all. Heck, I've spent the night over her parents house a few times when we were just friends.
Of course, eloping would get her kicked out of the family for the next 10 years so we're hoping it won't have to come to that.
Every Korean I've asked about it(friends and coworkers), have strangely give the same response, "if she's pregnant they won't oppose."

[kimchiandsoju]

Whatever you do, don't do it like I did it.

My GF (now wife!) and I went to a new years party when we had first started dating and partied all night and so instead going all the way back home we decided to crash at her parents place, which happened to be nearby.

He dad woke up early in the morning, wandered into the living room, saw a dude on his couch, and walked right back out again. It was awkward.

That was almost 10 years ago.

Now her parents live with us and help take care of the baby and we are one big happy family. But it took a few years for them to warm up to me. If I could do it all different again, would I? Not really. It was a great party, and you have to learn that sometimes in life, you will wake up, and there will be a dude on your couch.