Western food in Korea.

Part One of Two.

Why sweet baby Jesus are there pickles served with everything here?

It’s so unnecessary. For some reason, Korea feels the need to supply Western food with a heaping side of pickles with every meal. I still can’t tell if it is for the benefit if foreigners who have this supposed insatiable appetite for salted cucumbers or if it’s for Koreans who want an alternative to 김치 during their meal. Either way, it’s peculiar.

In addition to the green spectacle served with pizza, spaghetti and other Italian mutations, there exists gut-wrenching excuses for Western food in this land. Granted, fast food and convenience store food is awful no matter which country you live in, but this abomination… is unforgivable.

See, I come from a country where ‘real’ Italian food is hard enough to come by, but we Americans get by. Although we have Papa John’s and Fazzoli’s, we acknowledge that it isn’t ‘real’ Italian but it’s still tasty food none the less. It’s like a delicious copy. But the sinful excuse for Italian food in Korea is shameful. A copy of a copy in every sense of the word, Italian food here has become a shadow of its former self and moreso, a western food monster. Sugar sprinkled garlic bread, marinara sauce with the sweetness of vanilla ice cream and a peculiarly thin cream sauce will raise bot only eyebrows but also the dead.

I won’t even get started on Korea’s relationship with cheese. It’s no bueno.

I confess though that I actually like most cream sauce dishes here. It doesn’t leave the heaviness of alfredo sauce but that’s probably because it doesn’t have alfredo cheese in it. So, if it’s lacking in real cheese, why am I paying an arm and a leg for it in the first place?

For example, a heaping serving of delicious 참치김치찌개 (tuna kimchi stew) that comes piping hot with at least four side dishes and a healthy portion of cooked rice will run you 5000원 (less than five bucks USD). Not bad. A freshly cooked healthy meal with plenty of vegetables. Who can argue with that?

How about a artery clogging fake cheese drenched noodle bowl with some pickles on the side? Good thing I paid four times what I should have for that big steaming pile of lies. Italian food – you are expensive and you have bad taste. You’re like the Adam Sandler of food.

Thoughts?